Last David Beckham post for a while. Promise.

Somebody run down the vintage T-shirt place and pick up one of these puppies for Beckham ... and hurry!

How about that Don Garber? The MLS commish has some big ones, eh?

We’re talking about David Beckham’s fine. “One large,” they might say down at the local betting shop.

Garber and MLS fined Beckham $1,000 Friday for general douchebaggery, even if that’s not what they called it. Officially speaking, MLS fined soccer’s prettiest midfielder “for his interaction with a fan at halftime” of Sunday’s 2-2 draw with AC Milan.

“We support our players interacting with fans, whether it is at clinics, charity events or by high-fiving their supporters in the stands while celebrating a goal,” Garber said. “However, our players should never engage in conduct that can be interpreted as encouraging fans to come out of the stands and onto the field, regardless of the reason.”

If you extract the first letter of every sentence in Garber’s cleverly worded volley you will of course notice that it spells “nitwit.”

OK, not really.

Obviously, $1,000 is spare change for a man who rakes in more than $40 million a year now in total earnings. Look at it another way: for the working man who takes home $50,000, that’s a fine of $1.25.

So, the fine wasn’t about making Beckham hurt in the pocketbook. This was Garber putting Beckham and his handlers over his knee for a wee little spanking, taking the Becks bandwagon down a peg.

Beckham challenging the fans as he did represents the height of self-importance and entitlement. As I’ve said before, he can’t have his cake and eat it, too. He can’t go gallivanting off to Milan, leaving his MLS team high and dry and minus the services of the source of so much salary cap distress and then expect to come home and be the same beloved figure. This was a man who has everything in life, money, power, uncanny athletic ability, looks, global adoration … then getting pissed off that a few people don’t seem to recognize that he’s absolutely infallible and must always, always be loved.

If he does it, well, then it simply must be seen as the right thing to do!

Look, I don’t actually think he’s a bad soul. But he’s lost his way on this one.

This was like a married man staying out all night, doing Lord knows what with Heaven knows who, then stumbling home for breakfast smelling of guilt and cheap perfume and expecting wifey to welcome him home with a big ol’ hug.

Besides, it was just such a thick-headed thing to do. All he needed to was keep his head down, put the “hum” in the humble for a bit, take his flak like a man and soon enough – probably after a couple of good, honest, sweat- and grass-stained nights on the field – the fans would be in a more forgiving mood.

Ya know, just send flowers. She won’t forget, but she’ll appreciate that you’re trying.

Then Beckham put the cherry on the nincompoop parfait by refusing to acknowledge any culpability in the whole episode. Heck, he blamed the fans. Can you imagine?

“It’s other people that have to change,” he said. “It’s not about whether I can move on. I wasn’t the one booing.”

Seriously, David. You want to re-think that one?

Yo, No. 23, maybe you’ve heard that down here on Planet Earth, things ain’t going so hot. Times are a bit tough. Not Angela’s Ashes tough, where we’re turning old tire tubes into shoes, but not that far for some people. So, if fans go the Home Depot Center, paying real money for tickets and for $9 beer, they damn sure have a right to boo. As much as they want!

I have this sneaking little suspicion that his comments to the Associated Press on Thursday were the final straw for Garber.

In the bigger picture, you get the feeling that maybe MLS has lost that loving feeling for Becks. On this very same week, the powers that be in Major League Soccer elected not to include Beckham in next week’s All-Star game. Beckham has played in just one MLS match so far. Still, MLS could have attempted to justify Beckham’s inclusion through one of two “commissioner’s picks,” which are pure wildcards. Or someone could have leaned on Dominic Kinnear, who will manage the MLS All-Stars, to make Beckham one of his added picks.

The league even took a bit of heat on this one, as some members of the chattering class took some umbrage at the choice to keep Beckham outside the velvet ropes.

I say good on ‘em. Beckham doesn’t need to be there preening next week, further building his brand as AEG and his handlers strain to make the whole All-Star break about Beckham. Rather, he can stay back in Los Angeles in “time out.” Maybe he can meet with the accountants, hashing out what in the world he can trim from his life to come up with that $1.25.